1 00:00:07,180 --> 00:00:08,180 What? 2 00:00:36,590 --> 00:00:41,090 The following futuristic science fiction program contains scenes of 17th century 3 00:00:41,090 --> 00:00:42,650 pirates, also vampires. 4 00:00:43,030 --> 00:00:44,450 Viewer discretion is advised. 5 00:00:53,810 --> 00:01:00,670 It truly is a grand piano, Madam Glab. Yes, it is the dupe's gift to the 6 00:01:00,670 --> 00:01:05,670 vampire empire, and all I ask is for your world to join our alliance. 7 00:01:06,170 --> 00:01:10,510 Perhaps. But how am I to transport it to my planet? 8 00:01:11,070 --> 00:01:13,450 That Brannigan at your service, your highness. 9 00:01:13,790 --> 00:01:17,490 My crew is ready to die to get it safely to your homeworld. 10 00:01:17,790 --> 00:01:19,050 No crew, Brannigan. 11 00:01:19,270 --> 00:01:20,270 Well, who's gonna die? 12 00:01:20,410 --> 00:01:25,270 This is a top-secret diplomatic mission. So to handle the delivery, I've hired 13 00:01:25,270 --> 00:01:27,830 two civilian know-nothings we'll never see again. 14 00:01:28,150 --> 00:01:33,050 Hello! Are you quite sure that the piano is fully operational? 15 00:01:33,710 --> 00:01:35,190 I thought you'd never ask! 16 00:01:41,040 --> 00:01:42,820 What? Careful, ma'am. 17 00:01:43,140 --> 00:01:45,120 Rachmaninoff's a hot-button issue for Bender. 18 00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:51,780 This piano is extremely fragile, and it's strong to a tension of 2,000 19 00:01:51,780 --> 00:01:54,860 megasproings. One wrong chord, and it could explode. 20 00:01:55,300 --> 00:01:56,300 Wrong chord? 21 00:01:56,380 --> 00:01:58,200 You insult me, Madam President. 22 00:01:58,500 --> 00:02:02,000 Wrong chord. Stupid President. Never gets to explode anything. 23 00:02:03,880 --> 00:02:06,880 To an alliance that will last a lifetime. 24 00:02:07,400 --> 00:02:08,580 Or longer. 25 00:02:14,570 --> 00:02:17,770 Marella, why is Glab sucking up to the vampire empire? 26 00:02:18,170 --> 00:02:19,670 They're a bloodthirsty dictatorship. 27 00:02:20,630 --> 00:02:25,230 Indeed. And this is supposedly the democratic order of planets. 28 00:02:25,670 --> 00:02:28,390 Oh, so that's what dupe stands for. 29 00:02:29,250 --> 00:02:34,150 Glab's final term as president is about to end. Is this really how she wants to 30 00:02:34,150 --> 00:02:34,948 be remembered? 31 00:02:34,950 --> 00:02:38,750 As the leader who secured a valuable ally for the dupe? Yes. 32 00:02:39,530 --> 00:02:43,730 Trust me, there are considerations at the highest level. Then why haven't I 33 00:02:43,730 --> 00:02:46,170 heard about it? You're one level below that. 34 00:02:46,490 --> 00:02:48,250 Two if you keep asking questions. 35 00:02:49,190 --> 00:02:53,770 Devil, if that thing explodes, Kip will be mopping you off the walls for hours. 36 00:02:54,110 --> 00:02:56,330 And you never really get it all out. 37 00:03:00,910 --> 00:03:04,930 Man, this piano must be worth its weight in these gems it's made of. I can't 38 00:03:04,930 --> 00:03:06,910 believe no one but me is trying to steal it. 39 00:03:07,890 --> 00:03:08,890 Incoming ship. 40 00:03:08,990 --> 00:03:13,390 Ah, there we go. Sir, it's a vessel in hot pursuit. My favorite pursuit 41 00:03:13,390 --> 00:03:16,690 temperature. Perhaps it's a sexy sea alien. 42 00:03:18,650 --> 00:03:19,650 They've opened fire. 43 00:03:19,910 --> 00:03:23,250 Could it be friendly fire? Perhaps intimately friendly. 44 00:03:24,550 --> 00:03:26,930 I guess not. Return friendly fire. 45 00:03:27,410 --> 00:03:29,490 Do you control the missiles on this ship? 46 00:03:29,710 --> 00:03:30,710 I know that. 47 00:03:31,050 --> 00:03:35,670 I just said it out loud so they can quote it in my eventual metal citation 48 00:03:35,670 --> 00:03:36,670 next. 49 00:03:45,960 --> 00:03:49,160 Fry has fallen, and he can't get up. Oh, never mind. He's up. 50 00:03:49,520 --> 00:03:50,900 Fry, are you all right? 51 00:03:51,120 --> 00:03:54,540 No. Zav's ship is under attack, and I need you to come pick me up. 52 00:03:54,800 --> 00:03:55,800 Zav's ship? 53 00:03:55,820 --> 00:03:56,880 That's Kif's ship. 54 00:03:57,180 --> 00:03:59,660 Hurry. I'll be waiting out front with my lunchbox. 55 00:04:02,880 --> 00:04:05,040 We've got to save Kif. And Fry. 56 00:04:05,300 --> 00:04:08,340 And Bender, too, I guess, if there's time. 57 00:04:08,780 --> 00:04:10,100 To the ship. 58 00:04:28,560 --> 00:04:29,680 They're not here either. 59 00:04:29,900 --> 00:04:33,940 Well, we've searched the entire infinity of space twice. 60 00:04:34,220 --> 00:04:37,740 Well, let's go home and start pricing coffin-less funerals. 61 00:04:37,980 --> 00:04:39,720 Wait! There's something up ahead! 62 00:04:44,120 --> 00:04:47,240 That's not something. It's just a creepy old wreck. 63 00:04:47,600 --> 00:04:50,340 Then what's Fry's Lunchbox doing here? 64 00:04:55,100 --> 00:04:56,940 What? He's not eating it. 65 00:05:02,800 --> 00:05:06,980 There might be splinters of unthinkable size in there. So we'll enter in order 66 00:05:06,980 --> 00:05:07,980 of expendability. 67 00:05:08,180 --> 00:05:10,480 First Zoidberg, then everyone else. 68 00:05:10,760 --> 00:05:13,400 Hooray! I'm red-shirting with friends! 69 00:05:20,820 --> 00:05:26,260 This turtle soup is still warm. 70 00:05:26,480 --> 00:05:29,840 Whoever was on this ship was just about to eat dinner. 71 00:05:30,200 --> 00:05:32,060 When something horrible happened. 72 00:05:32,400 --> 00:05:33,680 And on an empty stomach. 73 00:05:33,900 --> 00:05:35,580 I won't let us meet that fate. 74 00:05:39,140 --> 00:05:45,240 The scorecard stops right in the middle of the fifth frame. 75 00:05:45,520 --> 00:05:50,040 Something horrible must have happened. Just as they were about to pick up the 76 00:05:50,040 --> 00:05:51,040 spare. 77 00:05:52,760 --> 00:05:55,960 The officer. 78 00:05:56,480 --> 00:06:01,240 Disco. They must have been just about to do the hustle when something horrible 79 00:06:01,240 --> 00:06:04,500 happened. Something even more horrible than the hustle? 80 00:06:04,900 --> 00:06:05,900 Adventure buddies. 81 00:06:06,140 --> 00:06:09,000 I found something strange behind the DJ station. 82 00:06:09,300 --> 00:06:10,540 It might be a clue. 83 00:06:12,320 --> 00:06:14,480 Zap, what are you doing here? 84 00:06:14,760 --> 00:06:15,760 And where's Kiss? 85 00:06:15,960 --> 00:06:16,879 And Fry. 86 00:06:16,880 --> 00:06:18,580 And Bender at this time. 87 00:06:18,840 --> 00:06:23,580 Hey, they took my ship. Marooned me here like a space-age Gilligan. 88 00:06:23,900 --> 00:06:26,690 Who? Who marooned you? you. Space pirates. 89 00:06:26,910 --> 00:06:30,050 Space pirates? You know, pirates, but in space. 90 00:06:35,910 --> 00:06:39,650 They've hoisted the black flag. That means they'll treat us honorably if we 91 00:06:39,650 --> 00:06:42,890 surrender. I didn't crawl under this desk to surrender. 92 00:06:43,130 --> 00:06:44,690 Hoist the flag that means no. 93 00:06:44,910 --> 00:06:46,730 We only have one flag. 94 00:06:47,110 --> 00:06:48,110 Hoist it. 95 00:06:56,080 --> 00:06:58,740 Why are humans so scared of their own skulls? 96 00:07:01,080 --> 00:07:07,700 Long John Long Johns, duly elected governor of the Pirate Republic, at your 97 00:07:07,700 --> 00:07:12,380 service. Ye hen-hearted numbskulls, surrender your treasure. 98 00:07:12,900 --> 00:07:18,160 Brannigan never surrenders. The Battle of Coward's Cove? Brannigan rarely 99 00:07:18,160 --> 00:07:21,100 surrenders. Besides, we have no treasure. 100 00:07:21,780 --> 00:07:23,760 What's that the robot's stealing? 101 00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:27,760 Uh, what? This fabulous gem-encrusted piano? 102 00:07:28,040 --> 00:07:29,040 It's worthless. 103 00:07:29,220 --> 00:07:32,600 Deliver the piano, ye pants-pooping bilge puppies. 104 00:07:33,040 --> 00:07:34,660 Or face our wrath. 105 00:07:35,120 --> 00:07:36,280 Ready your wrath. 106 00:07:38,660 --> 00:07:43,500 Just give it to them, sir. It's not worth losing our lives over a piano. You 107 00:07:43,500 --> 00:07:46,100 clearly overestimate the value of your life. 108 00:07:46,400 --> 00:07:47,400 No piano. 109 00:07:49,070 --> 00:07:53,790 It's no use. We're out of ammo. Then we'll ram them. No point in having a ram 110 00:07:53,790 --> 00:07:55,230 if we're not going to use it. 111 00:08:01,470 --> 00:08:04,010 What do you think he's going to do with that ram? 112 00:08:08,730 --> 00:08:11,530 Damage report. We're going down. 113 00:08:11,990 --> 00:08:13,330 Or up, maybe. 114 00:08:14,430 --> 00:08:17,950 Finally, I can deduct that ram as a business expense. 115 00:08:19,000 --> 00:08:20,160 It's still alive. 116 00:08:20,580 --> 00:08:24,420 They must have mastered the fine art of jump to the side. 117 00:08:24,640 --> 00:08:25,640 Raise shields. 118 00:08:25,840 --> 00:08:30,100 Sir, their ship is taking on vacuum. Space law requires us to save them. 119 00:08:30,200 --> 00:08:32,940 Space laws were made to be space broken. 120 00:08:33,159 --> 00:08:35,940 Raise the shields, Croker. That's a space order. 121 00:08:48,140 --> 00:08:49,360 Your ship is ours. 122 00:08:50,000 --> 00:08:54,480 What the H-E double hell is going on, Gif? Didn't you raise the shields? 123 00:08:54,760 --> 00:08:55,760 I thought I did. 124 00:08:56,020 --> 00:08:57,660 I've never been good with buttons. 125 00:08:57,960 --> 00:09:03,100 Step away from your digital control interface, you rat-infested pool boys. 126 00:09:03,500 --> 00:09:09,400 Wow, you're really good at cursing. Tis why I became a pirate, you sponge 127 00:09:09,400 --> 00:09:10,680 -munching vacuum bag. 128 00:09:11,800 --> 00:09:15,740 You will tell your children of the day you were taken prisoner by the infamous 129 00:09:15,740 --> 00:09:17,160 Don Electro. 130 00:09:17,420 --> 00:09:22,100 The terror of the Spanish mains? You honor me. I will return the compliment 131 00:09:22,100 --> 00:09:23,640 if you ever achieve anything. 132 00:09:25,220 --> 00:09:27,100 Ow! Bird feet! 133 00:09:27,320 --> 00:09:29,920 My name's Buddy, because I'm your new buddy. 134 00:09:30,140 --> 00:09:31,260 You're really annoying. 135 00:09:31,800 --> 00:09:33,660 Why don't I start repeating everything you say? 136 00:09:33,920 --> 00:09:36,060 Everything I say? Everything I say? 137 00:09:36,560 --> 00:09:37,620 You're really annoying. 138 00:09:38,000 --> 00:09:39,480 Well, we hereby surrender. 139 00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:43,600 Brannigan knows when he's been beat, because it happens a lot. 140 00:09:44,720 --> 00:09:49,100 Thus, the pirates have scooted with the piano and your compatriots and left me 141 00:09:49,100 --> 00:09:52,480 here with nothing but a lifetime supply of food and entertainment. 142 00:09:53,220 --> 00:09:56,140 I don't understand. How did they get past your shields? 143 00:09:56,500 --> 00:10:01,300 Treason! By that slimy, double-dealing salamander, Kip Croker. 144 00:10:01,500 --> 00:10:02,900 Thank you, Mrs. Croker. 145 00:10:03,300 --> 00:10:08,020 You had a little turtle soup on you. But you're wrong about Kip. He would never 146 00:10:08,020 --> 00:10:09,120 betray the dupe. 147 00:10:09,600 --> 00:10:10,760 You may need to soak that. 148 00:10:15,060 --> 00:10:16,060 It's hopeless. 149 00:10:16,220 --> 00:10:21,060 We have no idea where the pirates took Fry, Kif, and Bender if there's time. 150 00:10:21,320 --> 00:10:22,920 Hold your hopeless horses. 151 00:10:23,420 --> 00:10:28,240 The crystals on that piano are pure gem-julium. They'll have left a faint 152 00:10:28,240 --> 00:10:29,260 trail of radiation. 153 00:10:30,200 --> 00:10:36,100 We can follow it if we act quickly before... Stop this shit, Leela. 154 00:10:38,160 --> 00:10:40,940 You can follow that trail to your friends later. 155 00:10:41,200 --> 00:10:43,280 But first, we're going to follow it to my ship. 156 00:10:43,540 --> 00:10:45,340 Our friends are on your ship. 157 00:10:45,560 --> 00:10:46,519 I said later. 158 00:10:46,520 --> 00:10:47,520 Full speed ahead. 159 00:10:49,480 --> 00:10:55,220 Someone buckle me in my car seat. 160 00:11:03,950 --> 00:11:08,490 We must be getting close to the pirate homeworld. Space is thick with armhooks 161 00:11:08,490 --> 00:11:09,490 and parrot guano. 162 00:11:15,530 --> 00:11:19,490 Okay, everybody ready? We'll go lights out and make them by surprise. 163 00:11:20,730 --> 00:11:21,730 Surprise! 164 00:11:22,110 --> 00:11:23,110 Surprise! 165 00:11:23,590 --> 00:11:25,570 State your names on businesses. 166 00:11:26,230 --> 00:11:33,070 Okay, um, I am Tarangalila, uh, pirate queen of the bad 167 00:11:33,070 --> 00:11:34,880 ship. Planet Express ship. 168 00:11:35,160 --> 00:11:38,460 A name that strikes indifference in our hearts. 169 00:11:38,820 --> 00:11:40,480 And my merciless crew. 170 00:11:40,860 --> 00:11:43,320 Uh, Merciless Amy Wong. 171 00:11:43,700 --> 00:11:46,000 Arr! That's a pirate thing, right? 172 00:11:46,220 --> 00:11:48,840 It be a bit old-fashioned, but aye. 173 00:11:49,120 --> 00:11:51,800 Legally Blind Farnsworth. Red Shell. 174 00:11:52,060 --> 00:11:53,400 The Butcher of Jamaica. 175 00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:57,900 Hey. And, uh... Slap Sparrow. 176 00:11:58,200 --> 00:12:01,740 Ugh. We come to join your buccaneer band. 177 00:12:02,140 --> 00:12:07,080 We don't admit just any ship that sails into our hidden harbor. We'll decide 178 00:12:07,080 --> 00:12:11,840 according to the pirate code, which calls for a free and democratic vote. 179 00:12:12,120 --> 00:12:13,260 All in favor? 180 00:12:13,780 --> 00:12:16,120 Aye. All opposed? 181 00:12:16,940 --> 00:12:17,940 Nay. 182 00:12:18,340 --> 00:12:19,340 Petition denied. 183 00:12:19,900 --> 00:12:22,540 You're to be hung from the yardarm at dawn. 184 00:12:23,560 --> 00:12:25,860 Is there no alternative? 185 00:12:26,560 --> 00:12:28,640 Sure. Where do you want to be hung from? 186 00:12:29,100 --> 00:12:32,220 Don't ask us to move on, Dawn, though. The morrow's pretty busy. 187 00:12:32,520 --> 00:12:35,360 Things'd be different if you'd have brought us some loot. 188 00:12:35,700 --> 00:12:39,920 Loot? Aye, old booty. We also accept swag, plunder, and treasure. 189 00:12:40,140 --> 00:12:44,940 We maintain a diversified portfolio as a hedge against market downturns. 190 00:12:45,520 --> 00:12:47,360 I've got a Starbucks gift card. 191 00:12:47,640 --> 00:12:49,760 What balance be it loaded with? 192 00:12:50,160 --> 00:12:51,260 $500,000. 193 00:12:54,990 --> 00:13:01,010 A hearty Freebooter welcome to our newest citizens, Captain Leela and her 194 00:13:01,010 --> 00:13:02,530 somewhat motley crew. 195 00:13:04,310 --> 00:13:10,870 With this bounteous gift card and our share of the piano jewels, twill be our 196 00:13:10,870 --> 00:13:12,770 finest fiscal quarter yet! 197 00:13:15,390 --> 00:13:20,090 You pirates are surprisingly bureaucratic. Aye, we're a rowdy social 198 00:13:20,090 --> 00:13:24,690 democracy with no law but our written constitution and various regulatory 199 00:13:24,690 --> 00:13:27,850 mechanisms. Our halls run red with tape. 200 00:13:34,570 --> 00:13:39,150 You're a fine-looking man, Farnsworth. Of course, I have but the one good eye, 201 00:13:39,290 --> 00:13:40,450 so you might be hideous. 202 00:13:42,750 --> 00:13:45,750 I only wish I could see how hideous you are, Bonnie Bonnie. 203 00:13:46,110 --> 00:13:47,710 Here, turn me eye patch. 204 00:13:48,050 --> 00:13:49,570 That can't possibly help. 205 00:13:50,090 --> 00:13:52,310 Good Lord, I can see perfectly. 206 00:13:52,850 --> 00:13:53,870 So can I. 207 00:13:54,310 --> 00:13:56,910 Apparently, I ne'er really had no vision problem. 208 00:14:03,550 --> 00:14:07,950 This is a pretty good party. I guess we can look for Fry later. 209 00:14:08,170 --> 00:14:10,360 Mila? Is that someone imitating you? 210 00:14:10,620 --> 00:14:12,540 Fry! He's part of our crew. 211 00:14:12,760 --> 00:14:13,739 Release him. 212 00:14:13,740 --> 00:14:14,740 He's not locked. 213 00:14:14,820 --> 00:14:16,880 I know, but I felt like you didn't want me to leave. 214 00:14:19,120 --> 00:14:21,360 Hi, Leela. How's the boot rash? 215 00:14:21,720 --> 00:14:23,720 Better. I've been using a new antibiotic. 216 00:14:24,320 --> 00:14:25,340 What's with the bird? 217 00:14:25,660 --> 00:14:27,860 I'm Buddy, Fry's new best friend. 218 00:14:28,140 --> 00:14:32,960 He told me all about you. All about you. All about you. Is Kiff in there? 219 00:14:33,460 --> 00:14:34,460 Oh, no. 220 00:14:34,680 --> 00:14:35,880 Nothing but vermin. 221 00:14:36,200 --> 00:14:37,560 Yeah, nice to see you too. 222 00:14:38,350 --> 00:14:39,390 I don't understand. 223 00:14:39,910 --> 00:14:40,910 Where's Kip? 224 00:14:41,010 --> 00:14:45,090 Where's Kip? Where's Kip? Captain Long John's took him away when we got here. 225 00:14:45,330 --> 00:14:51,150 I knew it. Croker and the pirate are in cahoots. What a pair of cahooters. 226 00:14:51,510 --> 00:14:52,690 Kip's no traitor. 227 00:14:52,990 --> 00:14:56,730 He's so honest, he withholds payroll taxes from our kids' allowance. 228 00:14:57,900 --> 00:15:02,840 We've a long night of carousing ahead of us, so please stand while ye still can 229 00:15:02,840 --> 00:15:04,560 for the national anthem. 230 00:15:05,660 --> 00:15:07,160 That's our red anthem. 231 00:15:07,400 --> 00:15:08,980 Oh, I thought you'd never ask. 232 00:15:11,660 --> 00:15:14,240 Now raise your hands in proud salute. 233 00:15:14,520 --> 00:15:16,880 The Republic of Pirates is our home. 234 00:15:17,100 --> 00:15:22,620 And keep them there while we take your loot. We're a law-abiding democracy, but 235 00:15:22,620 --> 00:15:27,160 we've got no law against piracy. It's considered protected speech, you see, 236 00:15:27,280 --> 00:15:29,040 but you're welcome to try and sue. 237 00:15:29,780 --> 00:15:34,280 There's rights for all, but less for you. We count each vote in our hideaway 238 00:15:34,280 --> 00:15:37,620 home. As elected leader, I can run you through. 239 00:15:37,900 --> 00:15:42,020 Each pirate's equal under law. Each pirate's equal under law. equal of each 240 00:15:42,020 --> 00:15:45,040 macaw. You severed my neck vein with your claw. 241 00:15:45,240 --> 00:15:47,000 Did you get that looked at soon? 242 00:15:47,340 --> 00:15:52,420 We learnt about the drunken rain. In a morally ambiguous island home. 243 00:15:53,140 --> 00:15:55,420 Where twelve is illegal drinking age. 244 00:15:55,720 --> 00:15:59,640 Our government's good, our economy's bad, but we're hated and feared and our 245 00:15:59,640 --> 00:16:03,000 souls are dead. But we each make at least two hundred grand. 246 00:16:04,500 --> 00:16:06,780 So to hell with the living wage. 247 00:16:22,350 --> 00:16:23,770 Hey, what happened to the piano? 248 00:16:24,190 --> 00:16:25,210 And the bench? 249 00:16:26,090 --> 00:16:29,310 Come on. We'll search the fortress from top to bottom. 250 00:16:29,630 --> 00:16:32,430 It's only got one story. It's a ranch-style fortress. 251 00:16:32,730 --> 00:16:33,730 Look. 252 00:16:36,850 --> 00:16:38,050 X marks the spot. 253 00:16:38,430 --> 00:16:39,409 What spot? 254 00:16:39,410 --> 00:16:40,490 I don't know. That spot. 255 00:16:40,850 --> 00:16:42,370 Where the X is. Come on. 256 00:16:46,830 --> 00:16:49,110 It's just a bathroom, but it's really nice. 257 00:16:49,470 --> 00:16:52,410 The toilets are shaped like treasure chests, and they're filled with gold 258 00:16:52,410 --> 00:16:53,410 doubloons. 259 00:17:06,609 --> 00:17:10,470 Leela, you don't think Kif would actually turn traitor, do you? 260 00:17:10,690 --> 00:17:13,670 I don't know. They say every man has his price. 261 00:17:14,050 --> 00:17:16,829 Price? You mean I could get paid for my treachery? 262 00:17:22,800 --> 00:17:26,760 I held up my end of the bargain, Captain. Time to divvy up the loot. 263 00:17:27,020 --> 00:17:29,720 You'll get your cut, ye crafty devil. 264 00:17:29,980 --> 00:17:33,020 One for thee, one for me. 265 00:17:34,140 --> 00:17:36,100 Count by twos. It'll be faster. 266 00:17:42,700 --> 00:17:47,020 Here's your half the plunder. I'll need the pillowcase back afore bedtime. 267 00:17:47,760 --> 00:17:49,000 Hold it right there! 268 00:17:49,320 --> 00:17:50,380 Leela! Amy! 269 00:17:50,620 --> 00:17:52,060 Fry! Bender! 270 00:17:52,490 --> 00:17:53,710 Professor? Zoidberg? 271 00:17:53,950 --> 00:17:55,110 Hermes? Captain? 272 00:17:55,510 --> 00:17:58,330 Oh, Kif. You are a traitor. 273 00:17:58,890 --> 00:18:03,350 How could you? I'm ashamed to call you my best friend. I can explain. 274 00:18:04,270 --> 00:18:05,750 I'll do the explaining. 275 00:18:06,470 --> 00:18:07,470 Hang on. 276 00:18:10,030 --> 00:18:11,030 Okay. 277 00:18:12,290 --> 00:18:17,910 Admirella? You're behind all this? If by all this you mean saving democracy, then 278 00:18:17,910 --> 00:18:19,930 yes, I am. Is that what you mean? 279 00:18:20,170 --> 00:18:23,420 I don't... I don't know what I mean. I'm just so blown away by that chair. 280 00:18:23,740 --> 00:18:27,860 There was no other way to defend the dupe from President Glab. 281 00:18:31,740 --> 00:18:37,180 She intends to engineer a third term and make herself president for life. 282 00:18:37,540 --> 00:18:40,480 Impossible. Dupe law limits her to two terms. 283 00:18:40,760 --> 00:18:42,620 The assembly would never vote to change that. 284 00:18:42,840 --> 00:18:46,660 In case you hadn't noticed, she's been packing the assembly with stooge 285 00:18:46,660 --> 00:18:51,300 dictators on the fly, admitting the vampire empire would give her the tie 286 00:18:51,300 --> 00:18:52,300 -breaking vote. 287 00:18:52,360 --> 00:18:54,240 This is preposterous. 288 00:18:54,440 --> 00:18:55,480 I can prove it. 289 00:18:55,700 --> 00:18:56,700 Then it's not. 290 00:18:57,680 --> 00:19:03,280 I give you the piano, and you join the dupe and give me your vote. Do we have a 291 00:19:03,280 --> 00:19:05,780 deal? Cross my heart and hope to live. 292 00:19:07,080 --> 00:19:10,560 So I brought the pirate and Lieutenant Croker into my confidence. 293 00:19:10,820 --> 00:19:13,220 He's the little green one there. We've met. 294 00:19:13,480 --> 00:19:17,720 Together we staged a raid to steal the piano and foil Glab's plan. 295 00:19:18,180 --> 00:19:20,500 We'd keep half the gems as our fee. 296 00:19:20,840 --> 00:19:23,120 T'was earmarked for the pension and health fund. 297 00:19:23,640 --> 00:19:28,840 My role was to ensure the pirates gained access to the piano. So I opened the 298 00:19:28,840 --> 00:19:30,680 airlock instead of raising the shield. 299 00:19:31,660 --> 00:19:38,420 So it was sabotage. And by the way, I'm not Zap Sparrow. I'm Zap Brannigan. 300 00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:41,180 I don't care even slightly. 301 00:19:41,620 --> 00:19:42,880 The plan worked perfectly. 302 00:19:43,160 --> 00:19:46,300 Kip and I saved the dupe from Glab's corrupt scheme. 303 00:19:46,820 --> 00:19:50,240 Oh, Kiffy. I don't know how I could have doubted you. 304 00:19:50,540 --> 00:19:53,000 I'm sure it took a lot of hard work, dear. 305 00:19:54,440 --> 00:19:58,140 It's just surprising that the Vampire's Vault could be bought with a sub 306 00:19:58,140 --> 00:19:59,420 -liberate grade piano. 307 00:19:59,760 --> 00:20:01,120 That's where you're wrong. 308 00:20:01,320 --> 00:20:03,200 Oh, well, that and some other places. 309 00:20:03,840 --> 00:20:09,360 You see, this piano is on the verge of implosion. The strings are tighter than 310 00:20:09,360 --> 00:20:10,860 Grandma's girdle. 311 00:20:12,520 --> 00:20:14,840 There be terror on the high sea. 312 00:20:18,740 --> 00:20:23,300 Magnet. Furthermore, gem-julium crystals are highly radioactive. 313 00:20:23,760 --> 00:20:28,160 So if the piano were to implode, it would compress them to hypercritical 314 00:20:28,160 --> 00:20:30,120 mass. Uh-huh. Then what? 315 00:20:30,340 --> 00:20:33,620 A nuclear explosion of unthinkable power! 316 00:20:34,220 --> 00:20:37,100 Well, thinkable, but damn big. 317 00:20:37,440 --> 00:20:38,440 My God. 318 00:20:38,720 --> 00:20:42,340 Glab was bribing the vampires with a weapon of mass destruction? 319 00:20:42,780 --> 00:20:46,000 It's worse than I thought. And I already thought it wasn't great. 320 00:20:51,910 --> 00:20:56,290 Carnivulon, on the motion to suspend the term limit law and elect me to a 321 00:20:56,290 --> 00:20:58,370 lifetime reign, how do you vote? 322 00:21:00,690 --> 00:21:02,670 That would be lovely, yes. 323 00:21:04,090 --> 00:21:05,430 Then it's tied. 324 00:21:06,190 --> 00:21:08,850 Vampire Empire, you have the deciding vote. 325 00:21:09,150 --> 00:21:15,310 I am not sure, Madam President. It is so hard to make up one's mind with no 326 00:21:15,310 --> 00:21:16,310 piano. 327 00:21:16,830 --> 00:21:17,830 Hello. 328 00:21:18,210 --> 00:21:19,210 Oh. 329 00:21:19,520 --> 00:21:21,760 There, for some reason, is your piano. 330 00:21:22,060 --> 00:21:23,060 Now vote yes. 331 00:21:23,260 --> 00:21:25,340 Not so fast, Madam President. 332 00:21:25,640 --> 00:21:31,140 Under dupe law, remember that, the vampires are not voting members until 333 00:21:31,140 --> 00:21:33,040 their anthem has been played. 334 00:21:33,640 --> 00:21:34,640 Ugh, fine. 335 00:21:34,840 --> 00:21:36,060 Play the dance song. 336 00:21:36,380 --> 00:21:37,660 I thought you'd never ask. 337 00:21:39,800 --> 00:21:43,360 Please rise for the Vampire National Anthem. 338 00:21:47,240 --> 00:21:50,860 Oh, no. Your national anthem is a whole lot of shaking going on. 339 00:21:51,060 --> 00:21:54,320 What? Even vampires like a good sock-up? 340 00:21:54,760 --> 00:21:57,860 Come on over, baby. Whole lot of shit going on. 341 00:21:58,060 --> 00:21:58,779 Play gently. 342 00:21:58,780 --> 00:22:02,520 That's as gently as you can play it. Come on over, baby. Baby, you can't go 343 00:22:02,520 --> 00:22:04,740 wrong. This is your doing. Make him stop. 344 00:22:05,040 --> 00:22:07,240 I ain't faking. Not till you resign the presidency. 345 00:22:07,780 --> 00:22:10,200 Nigga. Now let's get real low on time. 346 00:22:10,540 --> 00:22:12,180 Shake. What do you want? Money? 347 00:22:12,460 --> 00:22:13,800 Drugs? Piano lessons? 348 00:22:14,100 --> 00:22:15,980 All you got to do is stand and watch the bat. 349 00:22:16,200 --> 00:22:17,400 Resign the Duke presidency. 350 00:22:17,780 --> 00:22:19,900 And nominate Admirella as your successor. 351 00:22:20,260 --> 00:22:26,120 Come on over, baby. Whole lot of shit going on. I won't. Then let's go now. 352 00:22:26,480 --> 00:22:30,980 Jake, baby, Jake. I nominate Ed Morella. Jake, baby, Jake. As temporary 353 00:22:30,980 --> 00:22:33,020 president. Jake, don't you let it break. 354 00:22:33,460 --> 00:22:35,440 Temporary? Yeah, Jake. Yeah, temporary. 355 00:22:36,000 --> 00:22:37,040 Well, come on. 356 00:22:37,520 --> 00:22:39,200 Stop. Stop. Stop. 357 00:22:40,220 --> 00:22:41,220 I'm not permanent. 358 00:22:42,900 --> 00:22:48,500 Since we did not finish the anthem, the Vampire Empire's membership is rejected. 359 00:22:48,840 --> 00:22:49,840 Get out. 360 00:22:52,400 --> 00:22:55,860 And let's grant admission to the pirate planet. 361 00:22:56,960 --> 00:23:03,780 Now raise your hands in proud salute. The Republic of Pirates is 362 00:23:03,780 --> 00:23:04,780 our home. 363 00:23:04,880 --> 00:23:06,280 And keep them there. 364 00:23:12,360 --> 00:23:14,600 I don't understand. 365 00:23:14,940 --> 00:23:19,060 The piano imploded, but the Jim Julian didn't go critical. 366 00:23:19,600 --> 00:23:21,180 We stole the real jewels. 367 00:23:21,460 --> 00:23:25,880 I mean, we're pirates for Pete's sake. That be cubic zirconium. 368 00:23:26,100 --> 00:23:28,780 Oh. It's only slightly explosive.